- baby: d... d... d...
- father: ...dad? omg you are going to say dad as your first word!!!
- baby: d... dONT WANNA BE AN AMERICAN IDIOT
- baby: *guitar sounds from baby's mouth*
but remember when brandon said that a good way to give oral sex is delicately jfc
- Friend: Do you use Tumblr? It's so funny!
- Me: eh...sometimes...I'm not that into it
- Friend: Aw I was gonna say follow me! Oh well
- Me: Yeah sorry :/
- Me: *continues to be a world famous blogger*
do you ever wanna talk about a thing but you know you already talk about it too much and your friends are sick of hearing about it so instead you just hold it all inside you and constantly feel like you’re gonna burst?
I refuse to scroll down
I AM FUCKING DEAD. SO I WAS HAVING TROUBLE DOWNLOADING THE SIMS 2 THING THAT’S BEEN GOING AROUND SO I CONTACTED THEIR LIVE CHAT SUPPORT FOR HELP. WELL THE PERSON WANTED MY INFO AND FOR ME TO ANSWER THE SECURITY QUESTION I SET UP SO THEY COULD PUT THE GAME IN MY COLLECTION.
THE QUESTION WAS “What was your dream job as a kid?”
GUESS WHO HAD TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION TO A LIVE PERSON WITH “Doing your mom.”. SPOILET ALERT IT WAS FUCKING ME.
Is This It?
She kicked and screamed while I held her close
I swore I’d never let her go
me and my friend arriving at an all you can eat buffet
turns my fan on high so i can still sleep with a blanket
[heavy breathing] do you want to talk about the killers